10 STAGES OF TEAM BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS 

THE 10 STAGES TO A RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORKPLACE

On the Relationship chart you will see the right hand side is the positive side & the left hand side is the negative side.

This chart will help you understand the stages we go through in our relationships at work.

STAGE ONE: NEW DIRECTION

This is a very exciting stage newness and freshness, the beginning of new ideas and new direction, new business opportunities, requiring firstly a vision, gut feeling (intuition) along with clarity of thought.

This stage must be taken very slowly looking at all possibilities, contemplating all aspects.

 Team members are in place for the project to begin, energy levels are high, a healthy functioning team is open to all new possibilities, this is an exciting stage doors that perhaps were once closed are now open or new ideas on the horizon.

Be aware, where there is opportunity there is also polarity change brings its own challenges that present themselves as fear of the unknown, and fear has many faces, fear of performance among team members, not feeling confident, fears of being judged or not making the expected or right decision. These are just thoughts and thoughts can be changed.

STOP AND EXPLORE ALL POSSIBILITIES

This is where we need to really look at all the dynamics that are playing out in the workplace. Things to explore are: 

Are your skills being utilised?

Do you feel excited or flat?

Are you clear on your role and others roles?

Do you feel valuable to the team?

STAGE TWO: BUILDING COHESIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Relating effectively to others in the work place begins with you knowing yourself on a mental, emotional, physical and spiritual level, being very clear on your own values and work ethics. Being open to hearing others ideas and a willingness to share your ideas and talents as a team member working in harmony.

 Working with a new team or team member must be taken very slowly exploring all possibilities, work ethics and values and commitment to the job.

 The key to this stage of a relationship is where you learn about yourself and each other’s strengths and weaknesses. It is very important to have an understanding that colleagues past hurts and painful experiences with past workers i.e. bullying, conflict, harassment, low self esteem, not being recognised for achievements, all impact on the teams healthy functioning and productivity. Peoples past experiences that are hidden beneath the surface need to be dealt with, clearing past hurts and disappointments are important to the future success of the project. 

STAGE THREE: EXPANSION

This is a very important stage “Growth” the project has begun and is on target. This is the first stage of completion.

Team members are enthusiastic and totally committed to the project. The have gained a deeper understanding of themselves and each other and how well they work together, how complementary they are, where strengths and weakness lie, how to remedy those weaknesses in building a strong productive team. 

Energy levels are high, and members of the team are clear in their communication and emotionally honest with each other and motivated. These signs are all indicators of a healthy, productive, strong functioning team.

 The members are clear on their own and each other’s values some of these being loyalty, genuineness, sincerity, respectful of self, others and the project. Self care is important and any hint of backbiting or unhealthy competitiveness is a destroyer of team success. 

In a healthy team each member needs to value and acknowledge their own and the teams contributions when this process is followed it is reflected in the teams excitement and  feelings of gratitude, learning from each other and the project, to have the opportunity be a part of such a successful, creative, cohesive team.

STAGE FOUR: HINT OF DISAPPOINTMENT

The fourth stage in building strong unified teams is the “MOST IMPORTANT” stage in building healthy relationship with team members.

This stage must not be ignored; it’s the first “HINT” of disappointment so small it’s hardly worth mentioning; to even mention the situation could sound petty.

Imagine swallowing down one small grape if irritation, then another grape of sadness, another of disappointment, another of not being acknowledged and pretty soon you end up with a big fat belly full of sour unresolved grapes that one day over something very small, out of nowhere spew’s a belly full of exploding anger. (Think of sour grapes that have built up and gone rotten).

Team members then may begin question and judge has he/she gone crazy? What was that all about? 

Another common destructive trait is backbiting, where a team member just has to vent to another member and get the issue off their chest, not the person that they have the issue with.  This behaviour can cause untold damage to both the team and the project.

STAGE 5: FRACTURED RELATIONSHIP

By overlooking or the inability to resolve small issues that arise and are not dealt with, (by not calling your 4 the first hint of disappointment) weakens the team the truth will set you free. In the 5th stage betrayal this is very damaging stage where team members often withdraw from each other, this is where passive aggressive can be born, the team stagnates and begins to start to focus on the negative and what we focus on expands, the team becomes fragmented, each member rowing their own boat, trust is lost, members of the team start to build scenarios and form unreal perceptions about what each other may be thinking, stress is heightened, fear of failure are appearing evident .

Now begins a decline rapidly, the team has lost focus on the task at hand, relationships have broken down, communication is lost, feelings of betrayal, abandonment, resentment, control, unimportant and other negative thoughts and feelings grow. Backbiting about the team members and the project, this is a very destructive stage.    

Every disappointment contains, however, the possibility of an important learning experience.

STAGE 6: SUPERFICIAL RELATIONSHIP

The fear of disappointment and betrayal (stages 4 and 5), has not been addressed. The relationship has superficially adjusted itself, and there is an uneasiness overshadowing the relationship.

We begin buildings walls to protect ourselves from what we had in stages 1, 2 and 3, not realising that these walls, separated us from the team. The longer this goes on for, in the team, the higher and thicker these walls become.

We continually drive a wedge in this relationship blaming each other. Behind closed doors bitterness, anger and resentment build up inside, however we show the public that “all is well in my world”.

STAGE 7: PERCEPTIVE/JUDGEMENTS

The wedge has been driven in so deeply that the relationships have now become stagnant. 

The emotions are out of balance and the indication is that some deep disappointment or betrayal has still not become resolved. We start to evaluate all the negative issues of team members and the project is in deeper danger of failing, as credibility may be lost between the team and these impacts on both members and the project. Backbiting escalates even more, in the name of venting; backbiting is the strongest destruction of all. “United we stand divided we fall” along with the project.

STAGE 8: DECISIONS- STAY OR GO

This stage is make or break, you either find your brave and go back to the 4 resolve the first hint of disappointment and get back on track  positively after resolving, by facing the issues, the team grows stronger gains the learning curve through the tough times, calling your four with respect to both yourself and the team (the truth will set you free). 

Some people find confronting a situation very challenging and scary and they may choose to avoid it at any cost, then experience the learning. When I say avoid it at all costs, I mean threaten to leave the team or the job, or actually carry out the threat without resolving the issue. When people make the choice to leave and are unresolved, they seem to recreate the similar situation in the new position or in their private lives, this cycle can continue until a decision is made to resolve. Some people hang onto old hurt a and make the choice to never deal with issues, these people often blame others it’s never their fault, we all make our own choices and live with the outcomes.

STAGE 9. RESOLUTION

The relationship is deepened through calling your four respectfully; the person feels heard and validated by expression their feelings of disappointment. Harmony and balanced is restored in the team and the relationships and trust move to a much deeper level through the gentle voice of emotional honesty, (the truth will set you free).

STAGE 10. PRODUCTIVITY/PROSPERITY

The transformation is complete, harmony and peace have been restored to the team, the members have a deeper understanding of each other and a stronger awareness of boundaries and respect for both the team and project.